Thoughts On A City - Vancouver
For some reason I enjoy the smell of the sea. Right now warm sun, cool breeze and the unceasing breaking if wavelets against the shore give me peace. I could sit here for hours, compare how the sun sparkles on the water now and the glimmering, shimmering of later. And there are the mountains; green that slides into the sea. Behind me the efforts of man to perhaps create something that is comparable. Yet, despite all their efforts, no comparison is representative.
The skyline may be marred, but these edifices of urbanism still hold a strange beauty. A jumble of styles; an adoption of the old and a flavour of the new dispersed amongst the stoic boxes of modernism. Here creating a city that despite a planner's best efforts for or against the various positives and negatives (or at least those perceived as such) still exist as a harmonious whole.
The forces that shape the city are akin to those that shape the mountains, but in human scaled time. The plates move and smash into one another building up peaks that are eroded away only to be recycled and built-up, once more renewed. Vancouver rises up a mountainside and slides into the sea, like a creature sprawled at the water's edge or a lion of the sea that suns himself on the rocky coast, tail in the sand.
Do I think about anything other than the city? Well of course the suburban and rural areas receive just as much collective attention, but my heart is in the city... Oh, anything you say?.... well of course: God, the meaning of life, music, books... though when you break them down it is all about Love (yes, that is right Love is the meaning of life, and it can either be simple or complex, but I have neither time nor desire to explain either).
So Love. Yes, I think about it. I think, do your chances of finding the right person increase in the city because of a larger amount of interactions? Well, my brother found his true love on the internet.... Ah, yes Cyburbia and the land of CHAT, which to me seems like and odd hybrid of CrAp and sHiT. Though that is just my opinion, then again so is everything I say. Its the second guessing that breaks us apart.
So back to love or lack there of or maybe a large dose of indecision or non-commitment. Dating?
I dont really see anything wrong with it.
Does it work?
Well, I dont really know, maybe I haven't given it a good try.
So, What.... You just wait for the right person to come along?
Right.
And you just wait patiently?
Yes.
Really?
Well actually no.
I agonize mostly about this one or that.... Is she the one? Is she the one?
In the end I am spending almost as much time as someone who has someone, but I don't have someone and I begin to wonder what was the point.....
Of abstaining from dating?
Of having this discussion at all. I have this strange problem that I feel as though I must write down to the bottom of each page in my journal. i feel as though I am being wasteful if I don't. As though I have so many deep thoughts that I don't want to waste a line. But really writing this shit is wasteful and by making sure I write to the bottom of the page I am wasting ink. On top of this I will probably end up posting this online and thus make the end of the page meaningless.
This is definitely a waste of time. But in the end most of what I do with my life is a waste of time. So, I will make a compromise and quit writing right now leaving the empty lines below (not that anyone can tell once this is put down in ones and zeros).
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