Sometimes I Don't Like My Friends

Sometimes I don't like my friends

But I can't blame that on them

They just want real meaningful relationships

And often I second guess

My ability to invest

So much

Is it strange to want superficial acquaintances

That I can ignore when I don't want to deal with things?

Maybe

But when I try triviality with what I have

And we play our pointless games

I realize that I want more than shallow entertainment

A memory of faces and names

But that's not where the problem lies

Where does my problem lie?

For is the problem lies?

LIES! LIES!

I don't often lie

I just fail to fill in the blanks

Leaving gaping holes in your understanding

Of me.

Maybe I'm just jealous of my friends' friends

Or at least that is the mood in which I tend

to repose.

Its not that I don't want real meaningful relationships

But perhaps there is a limit

On mutual benefit

Before they lose all meaning

Does quantity reduce quality?

I have the knowledge that I would reject them all

For one soul communing commitment.

But I don't really think that is needed...

Or healthy.

So as we all sing along 

While making our moves

Because we are your friends!

You'll never be alone again!

But alone and lonely are two different things

And I usually prefer the former.

Sometimes I don't like my friends

But I try to pretend...

Otherwise.

I know that those times they frustrate me most

Are the same times that I need them close

So Come On!

Come On!

COME ON!

But I don't want to let anyone else in a little bit

When I haven't even let anyone all the way in

O, GOD... not even God,

though I am sure he knows what is Best

I just wish I knew what that was.

Because sometimes I am alone and not lonely

And sometimes I don't like my friends

But I always love them.

Maybe too much.